In the past this was possibly easier to answer.  Why?  Because the idea of being a man or a woman was based on birth and defined what you could do or be, for life.  There was a time, not that long ago in the U.S.A when woman were not allowed to learn long division.  Even today some countries do not allow a woman to learn or go out without a male escort.  And sadly, many religions and past cultural constructs, don’t and didn’t believe that women were people, they are treated like property.

But this is not about that.
     This is a straight forward question for those in the U.S.A. who are faced with an absurd concept:  The term he and she are offensive, so by default that would make labeling a Man and Woman also offensive. But who is offended by these “labels” …  …

First and for most, is anyone really offended by the term he and she? And if you are, is it the word, or is it the societal construct of the meaning behind the word?  I personally define a man or a woman or a hermaphrodite by the scientific method, which we will get into in just a moment.

So we go back to the beginning: What does it mean to be a man or a woman?

Is it hair?  No.  Men and Women, boys and girls share a variety of hair lengths.

Is it makeup?  No.  While Women traditionally wear more makeup than men, this cannot be seen as an indicator of what you are.  After all, many women don’t like to wear makeup, and little girls don’t wear makeup…does this make them a man?  Does this mean they identify as a man.  No, it means they don’t like wearing makeup.

Is it clothes?  Well since everyone in America (outside of some religious groups) wears shorts, pants, shirts, and the like…which leaves only Dresses.  Does a Dress make you a woman?  I would say no. Throughout time men have worn dresses and skirts.

Does playing sports make you a man?  Generation X and above remembers a time when little girls who played sports and climbed trees were called Tomboys.  (I am sure this word is on the list of words to be removed from our vocabulary)  But does playing a sport make you a boy?  Well by default, if this were true, that would make little boys who don’t play sports, little girls.  A bunch of computer geeks shuttered.  Why?  Because they are men, they just don’t like sports.

Does your attractions make you a man or woman?  No again.  I know many a gay man that are “societally” male.  Not to twist the subject but they identify as being a man.  And the same is true for gay women.

So now we have come to a better understanding.  Being a man or woman should not be a label based on artificial things…  right?   Right?   Which means we need to use biology. 

Quick Scientific Answer to what makes a Male a Male and a Female a Female.

Genetic Components of Sex and Gender

Humans are born with 46 chromosomes in 23 pairs. The X and Y chromosomes determine a person’s sex. Most women are 46XX and most men are 46XY. Research suggests, however, that in a few births per thousand some individuals will be born with a single sex chromosome (45X or 45Y) (sex monosomies) and some with three or more sex chromosomes (47XXX, 47XYY or 47XXY, etc.) (sex polysomies). In addition, some males are born 46XX due to the translocation of a tiny section of the sex determining region of the Y chromosome. Similarly some females are also born 46XY due to mutations in the Y chromosome. Clearly, there are not only females who are XX and males who are XY, but rather, there is a range of chromosome complements, hormone balances, and phenotypic variations that determine sex.

The biological differences between men and women result from two processes: sex determination and differentiation.(3) The biological process of sex determination controls whether the male or female sexual differentiation pathway will be followed. The process of biological sex differentiation (development of a given sex) involves many genetically regulated, hierarchical developmental steps. More than 95% of the Y chromosome is male-specific (4) and a single copy of the Y chromosome is able to induce testicular differentiation of the embryonic gonad. The Y chromosome acts as a dominant inducer of male phenotype and individuals having four X chromosomes and one Y chromosome (49XXXXY) are phenotypically male. (5) When a Y chromosome is present, early embryonic testes develop around the 10th week of pregnancy. In the absence of both a Y chromosome and the influence of a testis-determining factor (TDF), ovaries develop.

So generally, if you have a y you are a guy.

If you want to learn more about X and Y chromosomes, which is fascinating, I would suggest starting here: http://www.who.int/genomics/gender/en/index1.html#XXX Females

So to answer the question, scientifically, we have 3 different sexes.  Males, Females, and Hermaphroditism which are those born with both mature ovarian and testicular tissues.

So what am I getting at?  In our race to include everyone, we are actually excluding many.  We are almost saying that you should be ashamed to call yourself a man or a woman because it is simply a societal construct…when this is not the case.  We are, different, whether we want to face it or not.  A man, at least for now, cannot carry a child.   These labels of girls like dolls, and boys like trucks, come from something more primal and less societal.  We need those who nurture, we need those who hunt,  and we shouldn’t be ashamed of this, just like a transgender person should be ashamed of wanting to become a man or woman. 

When I hear: Don’t say he or she it might offend someone: It makes me feel shame, shame of liking being a woman, because I do.  Sure it has its downfalls, most notably camping in the woods, it sucks being a woman and having to use the bathroom, men have a clear advantage, but that is life.  

So I ask everyone to really think about the direction we are heading.  I believe that a man that becomes a woman surgically wants to be called a woman or a she.  I don’t think they want to be a gender nothing…because if we are all gender nothings then what was the point in the first place?  Right? 

A few arguments that I will address latter will be as follow, as I know people will bring this up:

Not using he or she will break up the family unit.  For the record, I think our economic situation is breaking up the family unit.  I believe there should be at least 2 adults in the house, don’t care who they are, have 1 working and 1 raising the children.

And the other argument:  This is mind-control, population-control, and double-speak.   While I believe that this is very much like double-speak, I don’t think the person pushing the term ze instead of he or she is doing it intentionally…nevertheless it is something that needs to be address.

As always thank you for joining me.  I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Imagine if you will: 1 month, every night at 3 or 4 am, you get up to use the bathroom. (You like to drink water before bed).  About a week in, as you stumble to the bathroom, you wake up slightly, and you hear a voice in your head.  You pause, confused, the voice isn't a voice you are use to and it sounds like it is on a loop, almost as though it is a tape recorded message.  (I hope everyone reading this knows what a tape recorder is).  Naturally, you brush it off, because the moment you consciously it, it shuts off.  But you still feel a bit unsettled, after all, you are sure it is not your voice.
     Then it happens again.
     And again.
     And again.
     Before you know it, it is happening every night for 3 weeks.  At first you think it is a dream, but you quickly disprove this and other possibilities until you are down to only two.
      1.  The government is beaming a message into your brain.
     2.   An alien life form is beaming a message into your brain.

My question:  Which is more terrifying?
Second question: Which one would you prefer?
Answer before you read on. 

     Last part of the game.  Answer the questions before you add this one.  Imagine the message is a positive one saying:  Tell the people to love one another.     Does this change everything?

     Thanks for joining me today.  :)    XOXOXOX  Elicia

In light of all the downers, and all the problems, and all the politics, I thought I would share a huge parenting mistake I made when I was 24-years-old, Deavan was 4-years-old.
      The year: 2000, and if you know about Y2K, you know that all of us were a bit more at ease with the world, after-all, it didn't end.  I was over worked, a single mom, and well...sleep deprived.  Yes, I am making excuses, why not?  This is my website.  I was a bartender, I know right.  I worked from 4 p.m. to about 3 to 4 a.m., then I woke up at 7 a.m. to get my sisters ready for school, drove them, and Deavan and I spent the day together.  It was perfect in a way, sure I only got 3 hours of sleep 5 nights a week, it didn't matter: I was happy, Deavan was happy, and life was good.
     So, here is the mistake:  My daughter, age 4, asked to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show.  I had not heard of it.  I know that is hard to believe, but I had not, and this is before Google.  ( You gen Z are like freaking out right now, right?  Saying: There was a time before Google?) I was told by my sisters, younger sisters, that it was a musical, and I said: "Like Little Shop of Horrors?" they said yes.  HMMM....I suspect they didn't know what Little Shop of Horrors was. Yes, yes, I just looked up the rating of Little Shop, and found out it was PG13, so either way it was wrong.
     To make a long story short: I put in the movie, fell asleep, and Deavan, aged 4, loved the movie, and I found out that if I wanted to take a nap, I could put it in, take a quick nap and bam, life was good.
     Flash forward 3-weeks, and probably 7 times of Deavan watching Rocky Horror Picture Show....I popped it in to watch it with her.  Let me say that I changed into a different shade of white, a putrid color, and I thought: Oh My God, what Have I done???
     Okay, flash forward to today, Deavan is 18.  Is she weird?  Is she scarred for life?  No,she is not scarred, but I think she is a little weird. (I am laughing, she is normal and fine)

     Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that we all make mistakes.  We must accept that and try harder.  Would I have let her watch the movie, no,  I think she could have waited until she was a little bit older. But (the big but) It turned out alright and I learned that we all make mistakes.  I was mortifid and worried that I had just ruined her life, but luckily I didn't.  To all you parents out there: Hang in there, we all make mistakes, and that is okay, just keep trying, because in th

     Thanks for stopping by.   Have you made any silly parenting mistakes? 

The Weeping Willow.  When I was a child, 4th to 6th grade, I suppose that would be about 9 to 12-years-old, we had a Weeping Willow just beyond our property line.
     On Riverdale Rd. around 40th, where Shopko now stands, once lived a Weeping Willow Tree. There were 3 families: 5 boys from one, 2 girls 1 boy from another, and 3 boys from the last.  (Can you guess which family I belonged to?  Everyday, or at least it seemed like everyday, we would grab a large sized box from Silo (kind of like a radio shack or any electronic store,) and we would play games.  We would use the boxes and climb in them as if they were driving tanks, then we would make our way to the big willow tree and swing from the vines all day long.  Oh those were the days.  But of course, all good things come to an end.  I remember it so clearly, the smiles, the laughs, and that powerful tree. And I smile, especially in times like these.
     I know it is easy to dwell on the bad, but sometimes it is nice to take a dip into the pool of happiness.  It's okay to smile.  ;)   

I posted this "community share" picture as an example of Bait-and-switch.  You thought this was going to be about something cool, but it isn't.  ;-)
     Definition: First, customers are "baited" by merchants' advertising products or services at a low price, but when customers visit the store, they discover that the advertised goods are not available, or the customers are pressured by sales people to consider similar, but higher priced items

But I was thinking...what if Bait-and-switch has morphed into something more pliable, something that can control both the public and help promote and hide other people's actions.  What would it be called then?
     My news-feeds were bombarded with the Jared Story...You know the subway guy who plead guilty to sexual activity with minors (16 and 17...so I am on the bubble with that) But...The child pornography.  This sparked my interest as those paying attention know there is something so dark and sinister going on in Hollywood (general term for show-business) and in High Government.  Remember:
The Real-Life ‘Whistleblower’...  Remember how she came forward to expose the UN's involvement with Sex Trafficking.  Oh wait, that went away...now didn't it.  If not you can read about it here.  
      Well today, yes, just one day later, there is the BIG story that the Josh Duggar Cheats on his Wife. (here). The news feeds are blowing up.  People are so angry, and they are boastful.  Yes, very boastful.  The people so love it when the Religious Fall From Grace.   Now this of course makes me sick.  ONE: People weren't as angry about him molesting his sisters, TWO: No one is talking about the child pornography thing...really it is just about Jared, being famous, getting busted. 
     Is this where we have gone?  Yes, yes it is.  But why?  I think they have designed it that way.  When something bad happens, the child pornography, they already have something big in the bag.  I may be crazy to think this, or paranoid, but it sure seems that way.  Is it the old Red Herring?  Or are we, society, getting too smart for that, and now that we know that they use magician tactics to keep us focused on one thing or another.....What can we do to change it?
     To my friends who already know about the old: bait-and-switch and red herring and Magician tactics:  Have you thought that they know that we know?  So what are they doing now?  Of course they have Trolls and Astroturfers and Natural Advertising....but does it go deeper than that?    Are they using something on those who have their eyes wide open?

     Anyway.  I hope that these things open more and more peoples eyes, and in the end, in the very least, we are at least understanding that NO ONE is PERFECT...Thus we need to stop treating people as such. 

I've been unfair to doctors and medical staff as of late.  I am guilty of something I loathe: Bunching people blindly together.  UGH.  Though to be fair, big pharma is still on my top DO NOT TRUST list.
     Don't worry, I haven't lost my mind.  In my recent studies of Antibiotics, bacteria, and Super-bugs...I realized something.  In today's society most doctors have to follow the hospital or clinics protocol, protocol that are designed from several factors.  One: what ever the payer wants, from big insurance to big government.  Anyone under government insurance, medicaid, medicare, and the dreaded VA (is that Tricare?) can attest to the difference in "private" and "public" pay system.  Two: lawsuits. 
     I want to talk about lawsuits.  I found that hospitals (who make the policy that doctors and nurses must follow) get sued, along with doctors, for sometimes two conflicting things.  Example: They are sued for giving a medication, they are also sued for not giving this same medication.  They think a test is not needed, but the person demands it, they have to.  The list goes on and on, and the further down the wormhole I go, the bigger the problem seems to really be.  From children being prescribed too much medication to old people not getting their medication to blanket one-size-fits all and more and more money spend on testing because one patient died and the hospital was sued. 
     Am I saying we should take away the right to sue?  No. 
     Am I saying that one party is to blame more than another.  No, not really.  Remember, we all helped to get us in this mess.  We, as a society, seem to have a knee-jerk reaction, and in this I believe we will see our demise.
     What are you saying Elicia?
     I am saying sorry to all the hard working doctors and nurses who genuenly care about their patients, who disagree with the policies but are caught up in red-tape and a public who seems to be from two different worlds: Those who demand: Medicine, Medicine, Test, Test, and More Tests, to those who demand: Natural doctor, what am I a pincushion?
     In the end, we are all in this together, and as we all move forward I hope we can all learn to deal with each other a bit more.  I too am guilty of lumping and judging...so for now on, I will judge each Doctor and Nurse off their character and their intent.  (The doctor that we recently fired, I am not apologizing to you, not at all, you treated us like nothing more than human capital.)
     Thanks for listening.

A few months back I picked up one of the five books I was writing. (Yes I work on more than one at a time...why???..That's just how it is).  And I thought:
     My book reads like a bunch of sentences; nothing more than broken lines and bright shining quotes.  I demand more of a storyteller, thus I must demand more from myself!

     This is the reality of our world.  They teach bloggers and article writers to keep it under 300 words.  They post videos that are short, neat, and somewhat to the point.  They redo movie after movie after movie.  Where is the freshness?  The newness.  Even our beloved Poltergeist has been remade.  Will I watch it?  Probably, our graphics are fantastic now.  But I ask: To what end? To what end?

     The events of the last few months have placed life back into perspective with me.  I have a renewed energy (maybe its all the vitamins and good diet) and I vow: To give my reader more.  What do I mean by more?  More of my soul, my heart, and .... take a deep breath...my mind.   

     Thanks for letting me take my break.  I look forward to introducing my next book...I began writing this evening, and I know it will be what my readers, and myself, expect from my writing:  THE UNEXPECTED!!!!

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