03/05/2013: Allowing our children to BE.
I have noticed something strange amongst the children and parents alike, I will be the first to say I am super guilty of this. We are walking in a land where parents are complaining that kids are lazy, they don't do anything anymore. They are entitled, lazy, and won't get a job....and yet: What have we done to help them get to this place?
Let me tell you a story, to prove that we can allow our children to be themselves, to trust they will rise to the occasion, if only we allow them to. Raven will be nine within a few weeks. Raven has always been a conundrum to me, fear of people her biggest thing...while keeping a strong heart who would never hurt anyone. Because of this fear I have been cautious and perhaps overprotective, creating barriers between her and others. I rarely allow her to be around others without me, which is fine, to an extent. My goal: find the balance between love and protection and allowing her to make mistakes.
Fast forward to the story of her dealing with a suicidal child.....
Over a week ago she was online with her little gamer friends, they play Little Big Planet together, cute really kids aged 7 to 14, all creating their own worlds, talking and sharing music, ideas, and you know with Raven, making mini-movies to put on Youtube. Everyone has their parental controls in place, times children can go on, all listening in (well some of us listening in)....Obviously some of us are 'really' listening in, or I would not know what is going on. Okay...sorry, let me get on track. A week ago one of her friends...lets give a handle...Artimus459, had told her he was thinking about killing himself. Raven, shocked, asked why? His response was because no one loved him. She told him that wasn't true and she loved him (as a friend) all in all this was a simple thing, she fixed....fast forward. Artimus459 is online again. He is complaining to her that people were making fun of him, he couldn't stand it anymore, his parents didn't love him, he wanted to die, and again, he was going to kill himself. YUCK....This time Raven got really upset and got offline. She started pacing her bedroom floor, and at this moment I want to come in and solve the problem....I want to get online, tell this kid that he needs to hold on...find out what is wrong, is someone doing something to him, is he just trying to get attention...the list goes on and on.
But I wait....Why? Raven was deep in thought, she was trying to come up with a solution, and she did. She went to her camera. She recorded her singing a song: The theme from Tarzan :
"Come stop your crying, It will be alright. Just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you, I will be here, don't you cry. Cause you'll be in my heart. Yes, you'll be in my heart. From this day on, Now and forever more..."
She got back online delivered the message to him, and today Artimus459 is still alive. Now I know that this will probably not help him, but what it has done for her is bring her to another level of reality. She understands people hurt out there, but she is willing to do what she can. Some people may be horrified...Obviously I need to do something...and where are the parents? What are you going to do to stop Artimus459....Well let me first say that I have dealt with suicide directly, a few family members have killed themselves off...and I know that a simple little song may not help overall, but in that moment it helped the person that was dealing with it...it helped Raven and she got to help herself deal with a real issue. I allowed her a minute, and in that minute her big beautiful heart found a way for her to deal with this.
I think today we parents have been conditioned to fear everything, pedophiles are lurking everywhere, the government is oppressive, teachers can be cruel, school shootings, online bullies, the list is never ending...my goodness it is no wonder any of us have children at all....but we do...and we need to prepare them for the real world...Which lets face it..is changing faster than not. we all walk a fine line, so go out there you loving parents, and walk that fine line...be brave, be bold, and maybe, sometimes, let your kid step up.
UPdate: Our friend Artimus459 is very much alive, and happier now. They play with each other once a week and I can say that both are better for this situation.
Thanks for stopping by. As always: Be kind to one another...you never know who might need a smile. XOXOX Elicia