I started thinking, I know that fear and hate create huge gaps in rational thinking, but does love do this as well? (How many Lifetime movies have you seen? How many crime movies have you seen where one partner kills the other? Me: Too many)
This is where I always struggle. If a relationship is toxic, is it love? If it isn’t love; what is it and why does it seemingly have such a strong pull on people?
After thinking about this, I went back to thinking about arranged marriages and so I Googled it this morning and came across an article: Lessons from Arranged Marriages.
My favorite line: With “free-range” marriages predominant, this approach discourages parental intervention.
What? Free-range marriages….hmm…I have to admit it changed my line of thinking. I started asking: Why did they use that term? Seems a bit odd. Then I refocused and became unfocused again when I read: “We celebrate rugged individualism that is antithetical to the arranged marriage culture,” he said. He argues instead for deeper parental involvement. “When you realize what it is that the families are doing, it makes excellent sense,” he said.” (Obviously he meant that rugged individualism is a bad thing: We must be a part of the Borg)
The argument goes 40 to 50% of all marriages in America end in divorce, so naturally having individuality and rugged individualism is wrong. (I gag on this, you know me: I am a free-range, rugged individual that likes choice) And to this I ask: does a number really reflect what is or isn’t going on?
I don’t think so. Yes I agree that we “free-range” (I’m being sarcastic, some people are probably feeling like me over this word: a free-range chicken is still in a prison where he will one day be slaughtered.) Sorry: Us “free-range” people can be a bit of a loose cannon, but isn’t that okay?
What do you think: Arranged Marriage? Love? Hate? Fear? Are we blinded by these things?
My thoughts: I don’t like when some “behavioral” scientist comes along and groups us all together. When they think they can start generalizing complex emotions like Love. I certainly don’t like being condescended to with statements like: Rugged individualism and Free-Range. I especially don’t like the hidden idea of Parents know best. As a parent, sure I would like to think I know best: But I’ll be damned if my child is going to stay in a perpetual state of childhood…something doesn’t feel “natural” about that. Besides: If a young couple is blinded by “love” or “lust” wouldn’t that mean the parent is blinded by “love?” I think so.
Here is thelink to the article, maybe I read too much into it. What are your thoughts?
As always have a beautiful day and if you catch a minute be sure to check out some of my fictional work: Elicia's Books.