Day two of the turn negative thoughts into positive things is going alright. This morning it was shaken a bit, but I think I have a handle on it. Why shaken? The entire: Go get a switch boy! AND Parents that don’t spank are mousy, they count to ten while their children run wild.
Ah. Yes, such an accurate picture. Normally I would become the troll of all trolls. I would dis-like all pro-Spank parents and think of something clever to say: However, in this seven day “mental-cleanse” I am prevented from being the Troll I know I can be.
So I thought: Why not try to understand these people a little better.
What is a “spankable” offense?
I can tell you in raising my children I have not come upon a spankable offense (Maybe twice when Deavan was a teenager…but I don’t think teens get the switch: Do they?)
So maybe I have little angels and someone like me can’t possible understand what it is like to raise out of control children. Just kidding, I have been practicing positive redirection from the moment of birth…and I let my children debate me when they want something (which some parents might consider talking back) Let me give you an example:
Child: Why not?
Me: Give a valid reason….Then I say, if you truly want it you can put together a presentation for me and list the reason why.
Child: (rarely) brings back a presentation. If the points are valid, I will change my mind.
Did this always work? For the most part, but not always with the oldest. She would ask over and over again, like a little parrot…and I would say…No over and over again like a parrot. Should I have spanked her over this? I mean, saying No is so hard…right?
This really didn’t help me understand parents that spank…So I thought, go back in time and think about the reasons why YOU got spanked … Okay…(Only my dad spanked)
If I peed the bed. This was the number one reason. Did I stop peeing the bed, eventually, you know you do grow out of this stuff: Normally what would happen is that I would wake up in the middle of the night, wet, crying, and attempt to change my sheets…this only got me in more trouble.
If I didn’t close the back door properly: It was a very heavy door.
If I went to school early.
If I laughed at a cartoon while my father was sleeping.
My father nodded off while driving…got smacked in the face for that.
If my bed was not made.
If the house wasn’t immaculate.
If I didn’t have a bath and clean cloths on before he got home.
If I said the word Gosh…Actually that is a funny story. We were playing a game and I said Gosh Darn It. And he got mad and said I might as well just say the real thing, so I said God Dam it. That landed me in hot water…but I want to plead entrapment on this one.
One time I didn’t eat my food, I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I finished it. I sat there, he shoveled some in my mouth, I vomited into my bowl, he then dumped it on my head…Got spanked later for that…Oh I was five.
Back then kids could stay home alone without Foster Care coming in. Schools taught us not to say our parents weren’t home, you were supposed to say: They are in the shower, you can come back later. Got beat really bad over that one…Because I lied.
For getting my hair cut short.
Yep I think that about sums it up.
So if you are a person that spanks: Why not give us non-spanking parents ACTUAL examples of when you spanked your kids….You know what they did to deserve physical intervention. Not made up examples.
I once say a dad spank his child in a public parking lot for not listening. The little boy, I’d say about seven, got out of the car, his dad barked: Stay Close (Which you should parking lots are dangerous) The little boy stepped to the end of the car to get out of the dads way while the dad got the littler child out. Dad turned around, and out of fear, grabbed the boy by the arm and spanked him ten really hard times until the little boy was crying. The little boy had hearing aides, and though I can’t know for sure, it looked like he was programmed to move out of the way, probably mom teaching him, and he did stay close, he was touching the back of the car…But dad spanked him out of Fear…Needless to say…I did go talk to this dad…
Another time I saw a dad, sorry, I’ll get to a mom story: Spank his child in the store because his daughter was being a little whinny about wanting to stand near mom and not stand by the cart. She got five spanks for that. This time I didn’t have to say something…Another father did.
Once I saw a mother, at school, grabbed her child backwards, jerked his arm really hard…like really hard, and spank him on the butt until he cried. She then turned and walked away and the boy turned around and ran toward me and grabbed hold of me for help. That one hurts my heart to think about…because obviously something more was going on for him to rush to a stranger for comfort.
I’m not trying to guilt you…I am just trying to show that there is reality…And what parents claim to be reality.
Now I want to give you my thoughts: I believe that the parent child bond is the strongest bond on earth. Parents, for the most part, will walk through fire if they have to, to save their child. Since the dawn of the creation of a King State, where we have overlords and slaves…I think Overlords KNEW they had to break this bond. I mean it is one thing to be a slave…but it is another to have your child be sold into slavery. If that bond was allowed to grow and flourish…They may have a revolt.
Our overlords need to break this bond.
Our overlords must keep us obedient. You must obey your parents. You must beat your kids or they will question authority. You must hit your kids or they will go around making the world a horrific place.
HMMM….For the most part greater than 90% of parents spank in America. And until the 70’s almost 99% of the world spanked. Is our world better for it?
What would the world be like if instead of spanking our children, we started redirection when they were young? Most kids act out because they want attention. What would happen if each parents went for a walk with their kid every day and let the child talk about their life?
Now so you don’t think I am picking on corporeal punishment…Let’s talk about something a bit darker. There are some parents that don’t believe in spanking…but their solution:
Hot sauce on the tongue (people stopped using soap because soap can cause severe diarrhea) First off, hot sauce is delicious…Why turn it into a punishment…No but seriously: burning your child’s tongue…not such a good thing…from a medical stand point. Hot sauce in young people can burn the esophagus and make their tongue swell which could lead to a choking hazard. Not to mention some children have gone into anaphylactic shock over this. Remember kids immune responses are different than ours, and what is fine for one child…could potentially kill another.
They make their children take an ice-bath. (Please look at the old history of psychiatry and torture) Then…put some ice in a bath tub and sit in it yourself…Seriously...
They force their children to stand outside in the cold (with boats on) but only with shorts and short sleeves. Medically I don’t understand this one.
Parents that yell at their kids and call them horrific names. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather get the switch then have my parents yell at me for thirty plus minutes while calling me a useless censor, censor, censor.
Just a Heads up, you are free to comment…try to sway me…But be mindful that I will not respond to My two least favorite arguments: Spare the rod spoil the child. If you don’t FOLLOW every RULE in the bible…please don’t quote this.
And: I am a good person because of it. OR I turned out fine. This is an insult to children who have survived molestation. Some of them turned out fine…You would be repulsed if they used that argument.
Now I could give you stats up the ying-yang…But I think we know…deep down, when you think about your own experience of being hit…do you think you could have learned another way not to do that again? (Don’t sell yourself short)
In the end: I believe you are clever enough and deserve the right to have your child both love and respect you. I believe we have come to a point in history where we are so apathetic and afraid that we will get in trouble that we do nothing. I think the way we were raised contributed to this…going back to the first settlements and kingships.
In the end…If you truly believe that spanking is the only way to parent…I feel sad for you, I know you can find a better way. You are a giant to your child. You are their hero. You take care of them. You teach them. You protect them…
…but alas I know that many are going to get mad at me…They always do…And that’s okay…I get it…its hard being a parent…and we are all simply trying to do what we feel is in the best interest of our children.
Thanks for listening…Try not to be too hard on me…I’m supposed to remain positive for the next 6 days.