A broken heart at the wrong moment in time can change and morph the soul.  It was a recipe really, a moment of weakness, a betrayal, and a summer that followed, all were needed to help me choose the dark path and made me someone who strove to play the same game that is played in Dangerous Liaisons. One I got very good at over the years to follow.
     Age: 14  Grade: Eighth, end of the year
     During my 7th, 8th, and 9th grade years I went to the Roller Ring just about every Tuesday.  It was dollar day.  One dollar to get in and one dollar to rent skates.  Some of my favorite memories are from this time.  Kelly never joined me, and that is fine.  I liked it there because one could meet new people.  Well after my humiliating evening 
of running out of Mr. X's house, Kelly had convinced me that I should probably practice with someone younger.  The goal: Find a boyfriend, and kiss him. 
     In enters Ben.  Many kids that went to the Roller Rink were from another junior high, South.  Which was nice, because you could talk to kids without having to worry about your social status in school (ah, we all love the cliques at school, don't we).  There was a group of 8th and 9th graders I had started talking to, and thought Ben, who was in 9th grade, was pretty cute.  I asked him if he wanted to skate, and things naturally started to progress.  Every Tuesday I would look forward to seeing him until he finally asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend.  Now did I love Ben?  Hmm, this is a good question.  The memory of my true feelings is tainted, but I at least liked him a lot.  I loved listening to him talk, and soon enough I was riding the city bus to see him after school, which would be ending in less than a month.  We would talk and talk, and I met his mother, who loved me I might add.  But there was a problem.  I would always chicken out when he tried to kiss me.  (Silly I know).  In the end, Ben got use to it, and we became really good friends.  Life seemed to be perfect.
     School let out, and summer began.  This is when I got that call from Kelly.  The boy I had introduced her didn't like her, really he didn't want to have anything to do with her.  She couldn't take it, she needed me.  I was torn.  I would be leaving in the next few weeks to Montana so I wanted to spend as much time with Ben, and kiss him, before I left.  So I thought, I will just bring Kelly along with me when I go spend the day with Ben....Have you guessed what is about to happen?
     Kelly was twitterpated with Ben.  He was so sweet, he was so smart, and as she smiled and giggled at every little thing he said, I should have seen it coming. I was clueless, seriously, and even when all the red flags popped up, still nothing.  That night she talked about him to me and as the week passed, she talked about him more and more.
     The day I was leaving for Montana, Kelly came to see me.  She had something to confess.  She had sex with Ben.  Sex?  Sex?  They were in 9th grade?  What?  What?  She said she couldn't have me believing that Ben and I were boyfriend-girlfriend while I was away.  I called Ben, and he confirmed that it was all true.  I was just too much of a child, and he needed a woman.  She was 15, I was 14, seriously?  Later that week, while I was sitting in the Store in Montana, I told my father about it.  His response:  "Everyone cheats."
What a crap thing to say. 
     I was heart broken, not because of Ben, but because of my friend.  I felt more betrayed by her.  How could she do this to me?  She was suppose to be more.  I must confess, had the events that followed in Montana not taken place...I may have just shrugged it off, started Ninth Grade fresh and new...but Montana did happen, and I wanted Revenge.  Between watching Dangerous Liaisons, reading Lolita, and living in a place that allowed, at least at the time, for underage kids to go to Bars....I was becoming a new woman. (girl really). 
     My father and I were staying at a hotel, a weekly rental were strippers and military men regularly stayed.  And, to my surprise, many of the strippers were only 15 and 16.  Oh, my eyes were opened that summer: Opened to a cruel hard world.  (One plus side to the summer.  There was a military boy, 18, who was staying there for two weeks.  I really enjoyed talking to him, he was sweet, and probably help keep a little piece of my soul.  That and a Sheriff).
     Oh, this is a mess of a post. And as I write it, I realize, I need to take greater care with these memories, slow it down a bit. Tomorrow I will tell you about the stripper who to this day haunts my memories, the military boy, and the Fight with Four Canadians.  YES, I said Canadians.  AND don't worry: My revenge on Kelly is coming, a revenge I deeply regret. 
    All right, that is all today.  Have a great day!  And know this:  Not everyone cheats!  That is a lie!  Yes some do, but to presume that everyone does is well...just silly. 



Person with the broken heart is the most dangerous sometimes because feelings inside him are dead already so you cannot expect anything good from him, but time is a best heal. Person with the broken heart should take sometime to get to normal routine of life.

09/22/2016 12:44am

Artist labels are absolutely expensive.


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