Excerpt from Running with Chaos
She shivered thinking she had disappeared for a moment when she dared view her dark blue eyes. Animus’s redolently iniquitous odor lingered in Sam’s nostrils, forcing her mind to remain inside her parlor with her. She felt sick knowing she had just made a deal with the devil.
The night air was not cold, yet it chilled her all the same. Unaware of what her heart demanded, Sam walked on with raw intent. She paused as she reached the school. Time had froze and somehow shifted backwards. She didn’t know how, but her group and Erin were suspended during this shift. She half surmised they were all shifted to another dimension, but this, this could not be, so her mind accepted time was bent, and a handful of people were the only ones to know.
A life for a life.
The words Animus had said; her intent not an evil one, although the outcome would remain the same. They could not create a paradox, a child was killed, it changed the community, and it changed the life of the murderer. Too many had been touched; another child would have to take Raven’s place. This was equality, this was Sam’s job
“This is not right, it couldn’t be right.”
“You are not the judge of right or wrong,” Animus’s words stung and endured in her mind.
“Then who is?”
She stepped on the same curb she would be stepping on in approximately 11 hours. She would shield herself from the pain, walk away, and let an unknown person take Raven’s place. The morning wind picked up, the smell of death swirled all around. She had to close her eyes. Concentration built in her mind; she could see and feel everything as though time did not exist. And then she heard the new mother’s tears mixed with the fathers; their shallow breathing, a pain so agonizingly real that even now Sam could feel it.
No, no, no. Her mind screamed. She clutched at her chest. She couldn’t do this; something had forever changed inside of her. She could no longer live like this, she was no longer levelheaded, and no longer did she understand the delicate balance she herself had pledged to keep.
She waited, catching his murderous scent. The vengeance which had seared through her soul the day she killed Chuck now boiled up again, frothing and foaming out, covering her with the hatred of wickedness. She was the hunter and her prey’s disgusting lust lingered in the air making his location easy to find. She walked quickly, never hesitated as she navigated down the streets. At first walking until he was closer and then she ran. Her speed that of a trained sprinter. He was so near, she wanted to weep from the strong emotions flowing in and out of her.
“You are not the judge of right or wrong,” Animus’s words stung again.
“I am this morning!” Sam yelled into the vast emptiness of the morning hour as though someone, anyone could hear.
Her body stopped, she didn’t need to catch her breath, just take hold of her wild thoughts and keep them in check. She felt him, her body turning toward a small house. The trim was neat, painted yellow, baiting salesmen to come. The front door was red, commanding power. Even if he lacked it, he would not let the world know he was a nothing more than a poltroon. The yard, green and cut to an enviable length, dawned tiny yellow flowers, most appropriate for a man who envied all those around him.
She wanted to vomit, perfection, order, no chaos, just order. She could not put the scale in check, for inside, in his mind, chaos ran free, equality, order, utter disorder, she could not go against her nature, against her job, but then again, she hadn’t been feeling like herself lately, and she felt, maybe she could twist herself inside enough to change everything. Her dramatic mood of disgust was conspicuous to her, clearing out her mind, clearing out the ability to follow orders blindly. She would and could do this.
*****
Chaos stood across the street from Animus’s house. He was, at a point, certain Sam was going to let it go and not get involved, yet she had, and now he watched, waiting to see what was going to happen. His unique smell was covered and protected by the over powering odor Animus emitted, the air around her always thin, always grasping onto any bit of her lingering scent.
Sam had changed fundamentally, she would no longer be able to sit idly by and tolerate the injustice of the world to continue. This was dangerous, and he wondered what had Animus told her. What words could have fueled Sam’s rage and had allowed her to become an apostate? He knew with utter clarity everything had been transformed, there would be no stopping the inevitable at this point. He didn’t like how this was going; Sam’s anger grew at an alarming rate, he feared she was going to explode taking premature action, marked by a fierceness destroying all those around her, the future, destiny, none would be able to withstand her and all would be rewritten, of this he was certain.
Sam moved toward Raven’s school. Chaos moved with her, walking slowly at first, and then she took off running. Chaos looked down at his feet, cursing at himself, wearing inappropriate shoes for running once more. He almost laughed as her speed reached a point of true swiftness, making him have to put forth real effort. She moved faster and faster, the wind taking control of her as she ran toward the darkness; ran toward the belly of the beast.
She twisted and turned throughout the quiet streets, cutting across lawns, jumping and climbing fences, making her way faster and faster. Chaos ran as quickly as she and was aware the nighttime masked the ground, sending up shadows, he didn’t watch nor could he see every step. He faltered as his foot slammed down, a nail sliding up and cutting through his shoe and into his foot. He held back a yelp of pain as he fell to the ground rolling over on his back. He threw his leg into the air as he quickly pulled off the shoes, with it came the nail. He bit down, holding back another agonizing shout.
He felt the stabbing sensation caused by the puncture wound. His hand slammed down against the ground, he raised his head, no longer seeing Sam in the distance. Though time was short, he allowed for it to bleed out for a minute; hoping no infection would set in. He ripped part of his shirt off and utilized it as a makeshift bandage. All the while he felt time fighting against him, plotting and laughing at him. Chaos was in too deep, he had to suck it up and permit his will to be stronger than the pain of his throbbing foot.
Son of a bitch, he thought. He clenched his teeth tightly together suspicious of a nail being located in his path, making him conveniently lose Sam. He pulled out his cellphone he had only minutes left. Slowly he pulled himself up, feeling the pain of his foot as he limped forward, his physical prowess no longer on his side. He cursed with each step, feeling foolish for trying to stop her, but he had to reach her before it was too late. He did not dare step through another lawn and would have to walk the long way.
He desperately sought out a bike, he knew stealing was wrong, but in this moment he felt it absolutely necessary. He limped past a few more houses, seeing nothing. At this rate, he felt he wouldn’t be catching up to Sam for a couple of hours. He stopped, closed his eyes and breathed in. He inhaled deeply a few more times thinking if he could just control his pain for another minute he could run the rest of the distance. His eyes opened, he steadied himself and then bolted in the direction Sam had gone. The pain was sharp, nevertheless he ignored it. Nothing could stop him, not now, not when so much was riding on the next few minutes.
Running with Chaos
